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Monday, January 31, 2011

The Talk I Gave yesterday

I wasn’t able to be here a few weeks ago when George had to speak, but when he came home and told me had spoken in church, I just kinda laughed and said “ well I don’t have to worry about them asking me because I have to take care of Braxton.” Well here I am and I get to speak on the subject that I thought was going to get me out of speaking… MOTHERHOOD!

More specifically on how understanding the divine roll of motherhood can help me reach my full potential.

I think the Lord knew I was having a hard week and has given me this opportunity to reflect on my calling as a mother. I say that because 3 days before I was asked to speak I wrote this in my journal :

Before I was a mom I decided that I was going to do everything perfect.
The nursery would be decorated cute.
The babies clothes would be organized.
I would work out on a regular basis.
I would get ready for the day all the time.
I wouldn’t get mad when the baby cries, I would just sing it a lullaby while I rocked it to sleep.
My baby would only cry when hungry or hurt,
And my baby would sleep ALL night!
REALITY CHECK:
I am not perfect.
Braxton really is a good baby.
However we live with my parents so he doesn’t have his own room.
We all share the same closet space.
There are days that I don’t get around to putting deodorant on and I don’t get out of my sweats.
I don’t own a rocking chair.
Oh and Sleeping?
Ya not so much lately.
Braxton has decided that he doesn’t go to bed until 11 and then he wants to wake up 2 or 3 times a night.
Getting him to bed lately has been a nightmare.
Around 9 he gets sleepy, so I feed him.
While I’m feeding him he falls asleep.
As soon as I am done feeding him and want to put him in his crib he is wide awake. For the next 2 hours he fights sleep.
He will fall asleep and so I put him in his crib.
Yep Awake Again!
Over and over and over.
And for some reason, probably because I get emotional,
By the time Braxton is done crying, I have just started.


David O. McKay has said

Motherhood is just another name for sacrifice.
From the moment the wee, helpless babe is placed on the pillow beside her, Mother daily, hourly, gives of her life to her loved one. ..
All through the years of babyhood, childhood, and youth, aye, even after her girls themselves have become mothers and her sons, fathers, she tenderly, lovingly sacrifices for them her time,
Her comfort, her pleasures,
Her needed rest and recreation,
And if necessary, health and life itself!
No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a Mother’s love.

I think all mothers can relate that there are days we think ( this is too hard) ( I’ve had enough) (I didn’t sign up for this) When in all reality we did, the moment we decided to be mothers we knew there would be sacrifices and sometimes it would be overwhelming. But once that child that has been screaming for the last 2 hours falls asleep in your arms, you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Those are the moments that we should cherish, Because in a blink of an eye that baby is all grown up. As our children grow do we want them to remember that we were always there for them and we enjoyed the little moments in their lives, or are they going to remember that we were too busy cleaning house, or doing laundry to share a quiet moment with just the two of us. Put the laundry on the back burner for awhile, enjoy a moment with your child. Don’t stress over your house looking nice for the neighbors but instead make it a place of love and learning for your children. Make it a place they feel comfortable in. Our children should be our most prized possession.

Janene W. Baadsgaard wrote “The LDS Mother’s Almanac” in it there is a story that reads :
A number of years ago I was waiting in line for my 5 year old sons evaluation with his new kindergarten teacher.
A very stylish young mother and her son sat in the chair closest to the schoolroom door because the teacher was running behind.
I was about 8 months pregnant at the time and found it hard to walk without waddling.
When this stylish mother saw me lumber down the hall toward her and plop down with a sigh, she stared at my belly and asked
“Why would you want to do that again?”
Her question caught me off guard so I just blushed and smiled.
“This is the swan song for me” the stylish mother added. “ Boy am I ever ready to get this last one in school. I finally get my life back.” She was wearing beautifully tailored clothes, her hair was elegantly styled, and her long fake fingernails were polished pink with jeweled flowers on the ends. “I just bought that car,” the woman added pointing to a shiny red sports car in the parking lot “Nice Huh?”
I looked down at my protruding stomach and silently asked myself
“Why am I doing this again”
My worn maternity clothes were stained orange across the belly with my preschooler’s spaghetti from lunch. My fingernails still had dirt under the nails from playing in the sandbox. I could feel several sticky kisses on my cheeks from my toddler. My hair was windblown. The Old Van I drove was covered in mud and smelled of smoke from our last family camp out.
I cleared my throat several times then I turned to this woman and quietly asked.
“What if a very important person brought you to the opening of a diamond mine ?What if they said you could go inside and gather as many diamonds as you wanted but there was only one condition? You had only a certain amount of time before your time was up and then you couldn’t have any more diamonds. Would you do it?”
“Sure who wouldn’t” the stylish mother answered.
“But what if some of the diamonds were hidden in the rocks and you had to work really hard to get them?”
“ Well I’m sure I’d be willing to do whatever it took to get those diamonds because they would be mine and I’d be rich forever. Even one diamond is worth a fortune you know.”
“That’s why I’m doing this again” I answered as I patted my protruding abdomen.

I want to read that phrase again… “ because they would be mine and I’d be rich forever. Even one diamond is worth a fortune you know. ” Is that how we feel as mothers about our children? That each individual child is priceless. Nothing can replace them. Our children are much more precious then diamonds. Our roles as mothers are also very important. President Gordon B. Hinckley said

I remind mothers everywhere of the sanctity of your calling.
No other can adequately take your place.
No responsibility is greater,
No obligation more binding than that you rear in love and peace and integrity those whom you have brought into the world.

Motherhood is not something that should be taken lightly. Preparing for motherhood is just as important as being a mother. It’s more then making sure the nursery is cute. It’s making sure you are at a place in your life where you can truly care for the most precious thing in this world…. Your children.

Not all women have the chance to be mothers in this life and to that I would say respect your womanhood. You still influence the children around you and you still have the divine roll of being a woman. Jeffrey R. Holland said

To the women….. who dearly want to be mothers and are not,
I say through your tears and ours on that subject, God will yet, in days that lie ahead, bring, “hope to the desolate heart”. As prophets have repeatedly taught from the pulpit, ultimately, “ no blessing shall be withheld” from the faithful, even if those blessings do not come immediately. In the meantime we rejoice that the call to nurture is not limited to our own flesh and blood.

Primary teachers, young women leaders, school teachers, and women everywhere have the divine nature to nurture children. So whether they are our own children or someone else’s we should always be an example that they can look up to.

My greatest blessing in this life (other then my temple marriage) is the opportunity I have to be a mother. These last 9 months I have truly learned what the word sacrifice means. I have experienced unconditional love for Braxton since the first time I held him in my arms. I know what putting others first truly means. I have experienced joy that cannot be expressed through words. I have had to practice patience. I have to be available 24 hours a day 7 days a week because Braxton is fully dependent on me. I have learned that no two days are the same with a child. Every day there is a new adventure or obstacle to overcome.

So how can understanding our divine roll as a mother help us reach our full potential? I think James E. Faust said it best when he said:

How can any faithful sister in this Church feel
That she is unimportant if she is to do the work which the Savior did?
Inherent in this is the forgetting of self and the serving of others.

Motherhood is all about serving and being selfless. If being a mother is compared to the things the Savior did then I would have to say it is pretty important. Aren’t we all trying to be like the savior? Isn’t that our main goal, to become like Him?

I think we have to know for ourselves that our calling is divine. That our Heavenly Father trusts us to raise his children the way he would have them be raised. To teach them his gospel. To help them understand where they come from, why they are here, and where they are going. That is our responsibility. Our children rely on our testimony until they are old enough to understand for themselves and gain their own testimony. That is a lot of responsibility. But our Heavenly father has blessed us with the divine nature to nurture, and to love. If we ever feel inadequate he is just a prayer away. He will help us. He did not put us here to raise our children alone. He knows our weaknesses, and he will help us make them our strengths if we just ask for his help.

When we take our calling as mothers seriously and make it our number one priority to be the best mother we can be, by practicing selflessness, patience, love, and service then the Lord will bless us.

Most importantly I have learned that motherhood is a continuous journey towards reaching our full potential. Every day we are strengthening our weaknesses and taking care of the children our Heavenly Father has entrusted to us. They don’t care if we have showered or if the floor is vacuumed. They look to us for guidance, direction and love. We are mothers because that is our divine roll. If we take this roll seriously and lean to our Heavenly Father for help and guidance we will reach our full potential. We can not reach our full potential without our Heavenly Father’s help.

I would like to bear my testimony that I know being a mother is a sacred calling that our Heavenly Father has given to women. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother. I know that the words of the prophets come from the Lord. They are here to be his voice on earth. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today and he leads and guides this church the way Heavenly Father inspires him too. I know that families can be together forever, and I’m so grateful that I am sealed to my family. I know the power of the Priesthood is real. I have felt it’s power in my own life. I know Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers, sometimes not immediately but he does answer them. We have to be worthy and willing to listen to the answers. I know that I am a daughter of God and he loves me and knows me personally. I am grateful for the gospel in my life and for the happiness it brings to me. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ…. Amen!


4 comments:

The Dennett's said...

AMEN!
really, though, I read the whole thing and loved it all. Especially the story about the diamonds- so true. thank you for sharing! you are a rockstar momma!

Nebeker's said...

it was good for me to give it.. i needed it that week, and it has helped me thisweek also to just remember that it's the little moments that matter and i have a little more patience.. well i'm trying. i wish our little boys could have played together

Mark & Rachel said...

Loved this! The diamonds story especially was great. I would do anything for David, so thanks for the reminder :-)

Anonymous said...

I heard you gave a good talk...glad you posted it. It was beautiful.